Miscellaneous

So this one time, My mother convinced me to go with her to the sex shop to help her buy a vibrator for my grand mother who was lonely. As if that wasn't bad enough, it came with a free one for my mom. About 2 weeks later, my grand mother called to say thanks - what a phone call. That's my story.

So this one time, I was playing truth or dare with my friends. Since I didn't want them to find out too much, I choose dare - that was a mistake because some of my friends still tease me about having great passionate sex with my friend's sofa. That's my story.

So this one time, I was down in Mexico for fun and looked lost. A tour guide introduced himself to us by asking us, "Do you want some discount p***y?". Needless to say I came back with a few souvenirs. . . . one of them required a prescription. That's my story.

So this one time, I was talking to my sister, who is a fetility specialist. She had been seeing a couple for about a year who had taken every test she knew of, but all came back favorable. The wife came in one day scared without her husband and asked my sister if maybe they were doing it wrong because it never hurt her. My sister asked her to show me how they did it, and she took the model p***s, stuck it between her THIGHS and moved it back and forth. No where near her v****a. That's my story.

So this one time, I went to the bar and had a few drinks and went home with the karaoke host and we got it on and I wasn't being quiet about it. Well just after the orgasms the cops showed up at the door 'cause his next door neighbor called 'em. They asked if I was OK and I could only say that I was Great, and he was bummed 'cause he wished I would've said "he was Great". That's my story.

So this one time, I was singing karaoke with a friend - "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. He replaced "eyes" with "thighs" without warning me, and I laughed till I peed myself. Changes the whole meaning of the song. That's my story.

So this one time, my boyfriend told me he had nightmares about sex with me. That's my story.

So this one time, my wife jokingly told me to think of my grandparents...f**king. Disturbing, no? That's my story.

So this one time, I was feeling very romantic towards my husband...early in the day I went shopping, bought some flowers, special wine, made dinner and lit these beautiful candles, that happened to be on sale...huge candles, in clay pots...carefully I placed one on each night stand....after dinner, the candles were lit...he looked over and asked, "why did you buy citronella candles?", ...then back to screwing and lost track of the flames and thier proximity to the pillows, Fire! (and lots of laughs insued) That's my story.

So this one time, I had a dream about a girl I had sex with many times. She was/is hot! My current girlfriend(@the time) had woke me up and with WTF!?! What were u dreaming about? I said nothing, I couldnt tell her that I was having a dream about having sex with someone else when I hadn't had sex with her in months. Needless to say I called the girl in my dreams the next day, we met up and went at it for hours. That's my story.

So this one time, I came home and heard my parents going at it. The next morning I inform them that it would be nice if they would please keep it down. They told me they would if I would when playing with my "bestfriend" in my drawer. That's my story.

So this one time, my sisters decided to surprise me by redecorating my room while I was out of town with my parents. In the process, they also were kind enough to clean up all my mess. Unfortunately, this included them finding things they didn't need to see, and to them returning my treasures back to my dad's closet. I don't know who was more embarrassed when I opened the drawer where they used to be hiding - me or them. But those well used Playboys and my lube were all gone. That's my story.

So this one time, I was performing oral on my boyfriend as we were driving down the highway. OOPS I accidentally knocked the car out of gear(into neutral). He wondered why we were slowing down! That's my story.