By myself

So this one time, I was using my vibrator and it all of a sudden stopped. Found out my cat chewed up the wires and then jumped on the bed for petting. Talk about a jealous p***y. That's my story.

So this one time, I was using the spray nozzle in my shower to masturbate. One of the folks in a neighboring apartment took that time to flush their toilet, sending scalding hot water straight into my v****a. I couldn't sit comfortably for days. That's my story.

Again, I found out the hard way that my "waterproof" vibrator is anything but. That's my story.

Again, I was masturbating on my bed, underneath my blanket. As I was about to release, I tossed my blanket back and aimed for my stomach. Apparently, my shooting distance was greater than I had known, and ejaculated mostly on my chest and face. At least I didn't make a mess on my sheets and pillow case. That's my story.

So this one time, my roommate asked me "my vibrator is broken, can I use yours?" That's my story.

So this one time, my vibrator broke and I got it stuck inside me. I had to ask my husband, who I hadn't had sex with in over two months, to get it out. That's my story.

So this one time, I used some of that warming lube to masturbate and it felt great. Running out of it and looking for an alternative I used some Icy Hot. Felt great for a minute and then the burning started. It doesn't come off easily and now all of that skin looks sun burnt and irritated. That's my story.

So this one time, I had gotten a pinched nerve in my shoulder & wrist due to mya job (lots of typing & mousing at a bad desk). I saw the Dr., went to physical therapy, and took some time off work to recover. The first time I masturbated during my recovery, I managed to restrain it. My husband (who was never in the mood...) & I realized that not all the repetitive hand strain leading to my injury was not just from the job. That's my story.

So this one time, I was pleasuring myself one time and here I am thinking I am sexy as hell with it in the shower. Imagining the man I desire and I was getting it on so hard with myself that I slipped in the shower bust my knee on the soapdish broke the soapdish and tore my knee up something awful lmao!! I have to have surgery on that same knee. That's my story.

So this one time, I was sitting in my room in front of my laptop pleasuring myself. I was at it for a good 10 minutes, and when that time came I pointed it a bit back (to avoid getting it on my laptop) and it shot straight up all over my face and chest. It got in my eyes, so when it happened I screamed a little bit (it scared the hell out of me) and fell out of my chair. The worst part of it all my mother came rushing in during the clean up, movie still going and everything, thinking I had hurt myself. That's my story.

Again, masturbating and finished in a tube sock. Some friends came over and we all agreed to go out. Grabbed my wallet, keys, and threw on one clean sock and my recently used sock. I didn't want to say what I just did so I just put my shoes on and went on like nothing happened. That's my story.

Again, masturbating on my computer while my cat watched. Instead of finishing in a towel I decide to see if I can hit the cat. 1. Yes I can. 2. Cat's attack things that startle and annoy them. 3. Nurses laughed at me as they applied iodine. That's my story.

So this one time, I found out how great a pulse massage shower head can really be. I also found out that I can kick off a bathtub cold water knob and get sprayed with water until my father turned off the mainline. That's my story.