Oral / foreplay

So this one time, I had just finished going down on my girlfriend and had to go off to class to take an exam. I was horrified because all I could smell was sex and I figured everyone else could too. Turns out, I'm just not very good at cleaning my upper lip. Made for an interesting exam anyway. That's my story.

So this one time, I got a brand new cell phone, it was one of the really thin candy bar type ones. My boyfriend at the time thought it would be a good idea to use it as a vibrator... well it was about the right size. It broke during some rough use that night. We had a hard time returning it to the store the next day. Luckily, the store clerk didn't smell it. That's my story.

So this one time, my husband went down on me after we'd both had a bit to drink. I woke up in the morning with his heads between my legs...we both fell asleep... That's my story.

So this one time, an old friend of my wife came over we had a discussion of what we were doing in life. I explained I don't drink and she was already pretty well lit up. She made a move on me, and like an ordinary horny single guy, I take it when I can get it. Well, things happened. The next morning, I started to eat her out, and man it was good - until she farted and the stink was oooooh sooooo stinky. I got up and - oh, that's what alcahol fart do! Woooo boy, did her face turn red. That's my story.

So this one time, I gave this new guy I was dating permission to give me a pearl necklace, only he shot a little too high, and got me right in the eye. To this day, I imagine those sperm thought they'd hit THE Motherload. I know for certain they tried to impregnate my eyeball- boy did it smart! That's my story.

So this one time, my wife and I were playing a game to see how many fingers would fit in her v****a. We ended up getting my whole fist in, but the she clenched and it wouldn't come out. We had to call 911 to have the operator walk us through it... That's my story.

So this one time, with my husband. we were having oral and he wanted me to try and finish in the mouth. Well need less to say it got in my mouth, up my nose and in my hair. That's my story.

So this one time, One of my friends and I had gotten drunk. Well I went to go down on her and she wouldnt let me. I finally got her to let me. It was good, then she started tapping my should and told me to finsh with my hand. Me being drunk didnt listen. Well I now know why she didnt want me to do it in the first place. SHE SQUIRTED ALL OVER MY FACE & IN MY HAIR! That was the first and last time I had sex with her. That's my story.

So this one time, I walked into the bedroom with a tootsie pop, as she took it and rubbed and inserted it into her! I began to lick and suck on the tootsie flavored p***y and it was very tasty and the best sex we had with a self made toy,pleaser..emmm I'll never forget that! That's my story.

So this one time, my bf and I were on a road trip. After hours on the road and bordom set in, I decided to occupy myself by teasing him. Well I got a little carried away and finished him before we could find a place to stop. Well to our suprise the cum was blue! laughing about this and trying to figure it out...imagine us both messing in the cum and still driving. We realized we had been eating blueberry jelly bellies the whole road trip. Wonder if it would work with Cherry ones? That's my story.

So this one time, I was giving head to my wonderful boyfriend Kevin. This sexual encounter took place in his parents' house when he was still living there. Moments after he came in my mouth, his mother walked in, and in a panic, I spit his semen all over the carpet. Needless to say, I was no longer invited in his parents' house. That's my story.

So this one time, In college, my girl and I were feeling frisky in my dorm room. As a prelude to what I assumed would be some great sex, I went down on her, to stoke the fires. As she's really getting into it, she rips this huge fart, right in my face. She was so embarassed, and to make matters worse, it gave her some kind of mental block. It took me a month of trying to get her to cum again. She still blushes when I bring it up. That's my story.

So this one time, My dude and I was having oral sex and he said to me that his mouth was dried, so I told him to put this haul's (cough drop)in his mouth he did and we continue when that haul's heat up in my p***y WHEW!!!!!! I was in tears and my face was red. People it felt soooooooo dam goooooooood!!!try it! thats my story. That's my story.