With a guy

So this one time, my boyfriend and I were having sex. His peircing got stuck inside of me, and we had to bang on the wall so my mom could call for an ambulance. That's my story.

So this one time, me and a guy are having wild sex at a public park. It wasn't until the next day that I realized the full meaning of the term "rug burn". Word of advice, avoid the basketball court. The only thing that hurt more was having to lie to my mom about the wound. Ouch. That's my story.

Again, I let my boyfriend finish in my face like in the movies and he managed to shoot it UP my nose! That's my story.

So this one time, my boyfriend and I decided to get it on in a mens fittingroom at Kohls. It was just us in there until a guy walked in while we were right in the middle. We decided to keep on going, and not be quiet about it. I saw the guy's feet under the partition and he was completely still, obviously listening. After we were done, I dressed and said outloud, "Ahhh, I've always wanted to do that." Then left. We waited to see who would come out, but no one ever did. He was probably whacking it. That's my story.

So this one time, my boyfriend and I were going at it when he stops and says, "It's gone." I'm like, "What do you mean?" "I mean it's GONE." Sure enough, the condom had disappeared. Assuming--recent virgins that we were--that it must have fallen off, we both searched the bed for ten minutes before we realized that far from having fallen off, it was shoved pretty far up my v****a and required some acrobatics to remove. We now refer to the offending sheath as the Houdini condom. Now you see it, now you don't! That's my story.

So this one time, A guy wanted to do anal and I agreed if I could put a finger up his first. He agreed. A few minutes later he took a big breath said he was "ready". . . a second later without me doing anything he just started to cry and he's never brought it up again. That's my story.

So this one time, I was at the stage of my period where it was extremly light so i didnt wear a tampon. Well i got drunk and forgot about the light period and let this guy finger me at a party. When we went back to where everyone was, one of his friends said hey your bleeding. but it wasnt his blood. That's my story.

So this one time, I had just finished getting it on with my now X boyfriend and i was sitting on top of him, (him still inside me) when suddenly i sneezed. He screamed in pain because i guess i tensed up so much during the sneeze and he threw me off of him. It was awkward to have hurt him in such a strange way. That's my story.

So this one time, I was hooking up with a guy in my dorm room. A few minutes in, we both fell off my lofted bed. He ended up with a black eye and rug burn on his face; I hit my head on a desk getting a mild concussion. It wasn't until the next morning he realized his phone had speed-dialed his father, recording our painful moans in a voicemail. That's my story.

So this one time, my husband and I were having sex shortly after the birth of our first child. He started sucking on my nipples, and now he gets mad if there isn't any breast milk left for him after my daughter's nighttime feeding. That's my story.

So this one time, I had sex with my then boyfriend and the condom broke. He asked if I had any coat hangers. That's my story.

So this one time, I was about to have sex with my new boyfriend. As we were about to start, he shouts "welcome to the sperm bank of Max!" I am no longer with him. That's my story.

So this one time, the guy I was seeing and I were going at it and then we rolled off the bed. We had been drinking also. The back of his head caught the flat part of the nite stand and my face caught the corner. I bled everywhere and ended up with 3 stitches in my forhead and a black eye to boot. Trying to explain that to my mother at the ER was fun. That's my story.